pulse check
how i've been feeling
hello chat, its been a while!
there’s been a lot that’s happened in life so thought i’d just write a quick pulse check about what’s been going on lately.
major events
graduated!
moved to new york
locking in and ramping up at work
so while there’s a lot that happened, at the same time, it just feels the same? i didn’t realize that i wouldn’t feel different from when i was a student from now, i guess i expected some big transformation to happen. after all, moving to a new city and starting my first full time big boy job should feel big, but it just is what it is, and its crazy.
sometimes i pinch myself whenever i’m walking down the streets because am i dreaming? this is a life that i’ve longed for, in a city i love, with friends that i like being around, and work that i’m interested in. if someone told me in first year that this is where i’d end up, i wouldn’t believe them.
i think the only big change i see is that time goes by really fast, and i absolutely hate that. i blink and a day is gone, i blink 7 times and the week is gone - i used to plan stuff days in advance, now its in weeks and months. i know that eventually everything will end and sometimes i get caught up in wondering if i’m really soaking up the present.
when it comes to life stuff, having to figure out america is weird - in the span of a month, the irs invested my credit card, i got billed $300 bucks for a urgent care doctor to poke at my stomach and tell me i will be ok (tummy ache), and my new dentist roasted my old dentist. there’s a lot of moving parts to figure out, like i still need to find a family doctor, an optometrist, and so much more, but i found my barber so i think i have my ducks in order.
its fun seeing my friends again! i lost some of them to california, but im glad some of my toronto friends joined me in new york. we all live in relatively same area, so its easy to go out, im grateful for them all!
i’ve locked in on a couple of things that make me, me. the main things are climbing and cooking, i’ve been trying to get better at both things. but also thursdays are catan nights, sundays are for chinatown brunches, pickleball, and recovering for the week. every night i call my partner to round out the day, and its honestly my favourite part of the day.
i’ve realized that 24 hours isn’t enough time in the day to do everything i want to do, and i’m always making a tradeoff somewhere in some form. new york is expensive, yes in money, but in time. i can either go out to [x event] or i can go climb, or cook, or clean, and i can’t eat the cake while also having it. locking in definitely helps because i know what i want to do, but sometimes i feel like im missing out on the city. the city isn't going anywhere anyways, so i’m fine with it.
i learned that i love a routine - every morning i bike into office, grab a cup of water on the way into the cafe, then a plate of scrambled eggs, some pineapple and watermelon, and a cup of greek yogurt with granola, chia seeds, and honey. i eat, then i go up to my desk, but not before making my caffeine with cold brew and sparkling water. i work, get lunch, work some more, do whatever the evening has in store for me, call my girl, and then sleep. theres so much beauty in the everyday that i am forever grateful for the life i have now, and thankful for the people who have helped me get to where i am right now.
when it comes to work, its hard, but rewarding - i’m doing android for the first time and there’s so much to learn it’s dizzying, but it feels good to see results of my progress and ramping up. some days its so joever but other days we are so barack, and when we are so barack it makes it seems like we were never joever. i cannot wait to be good at my job, maybe i truly yearn to deliver shareholder value.
i’m also one of the rabbitholeathon organizers now! after attending in the winter, i joined, and currently planning our next one in december. there’s a lot to do, and logistics aint never easy, but definitely learning a lot and doing what i can. were going through applicants and wow people are interesting. i’m definitely not as interesting as i once thought i was, and its amazing so many people want to come - and heart breaking that not everyone can.
i’ve also learned that i’m not as fearless as i thought i was. i miss my parents and i’m scared of anything happening to them, perhaps more than ever. i see them relatively frequently, and i can see time is running out. i don’t like that, and hope i can spend as much time with them as i can.
i’m hopeful towards the future, (ideally) living in the present, and thankful for my past. i still think i’m insanely lucky to be where i am, and i know people who would kill to be in my shoes. i’m not dismissing the work i put in to get here, but rather acknowledging that not everyone who works hard get to where i am right now.
i’ll see everyone later, maybe i should post on twitter more. feel free to say hi if you’re in nyc and want to hang out!
quinn